Mirror, Mirror. . .

a girl with no faceContinuing from yesterday’s musings, I have long held that as human beings, especially as women, we are placed in one another’s lives to mirror for the other what we cannot see for ourselves.

I remember as a young mother, and forever after that, being able to clearly see when the child of another was pulling her leg, pushing her buttons, and behaving badly, and how the other mother was so oblivious to the dastardly manipulations of her own child.  I determined to listen when others pointed out what I could not see in my children.  It wasn’t easy, because we don’t want to see that, do we?

And, isn’t it amazing how easy it is for us to see EXACTLY what lesson ANOTHER is facing, and what they need to do to pass that class and move on?  Yet we remain blind to our own foibles, lessons, and patterns.  Again, we don’t want other people telling us what we don’t want to see.  So it takes a rare kind of humility to listen when someone is willing to share with us what we cannot see for ourselves.  (And, as a side note, unless someone is asking, it really isn’t a good idea, on so many levels, to offer unsolicited advice.  However, we could not see in another what we don’t have going on for ourselves, so it’s good to be aware.  Just sayin’…)

By Divine Grace, I am convinced, that door swings both ways.  What we cannot see in ourselves, we see in our sisters.  Alvita and I had this discussion the other day, and she asked me, “What do you see in me?”

“Oh, my dearest friend,  I see you as so beautiful, an exquisite portrayal of the divine feminine, a tender touch of a mother, healer, wise woman, sage, seer, and yet delicate, innocent, and oh so loving.  I see you as deserving of the best care anyone could ever have.”  And while that is what she gives to all who cross her path, Alvita struggles,
as do I, with self-care and self-love and self-centeredness.  She and I are both “other-centered”.

So, given our propensity as women to take care of everyone but ourselves, what if we gave each other permission to take care of us?  What if we welcomed the mirror of one another, and preened a little in it?  What if we team up to take care of ourselves by taking care of one another — like the long chopsticks of heaven?

Maybe loving one another, and embracing the love of others, as we wish we could love ourselves, could get us all home safely.  Who wants to die dumb?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Pause that Renews — Menopause

Drinking-Water-In-The-HeatI wrote the following treatise twenty years ago.  I was in my late 40’s and had such high hopes for my ‘golden’ years approaching.  I thought then, as you will read, that I could do this thing gracefully.  I was wrong.  Read on, and then I’ll share the epilogue.  Do know that I could easily have written this yesterday.  It makes me want to cry.

I expect to live forever in this very body.  I believe in the seemingly radical idea that our bodies are designed to last 120 years or more.  In spite of this calm assurance of my immortality, I seem to be falling apart…..I’m way overweight, my vision dims, my teeth are becoming problematic, my feet, back, and knees complain about carrying my excess baggage around, and memory and clarity of thought often escape me.  It’s actually kind of a scary dilemma, somewhat akin to that of the glamorous characters in the movie, “Death Becomes Her”.  This dichotomy of belief versus “reality” has troubled me for some time.  I keep wondering when I’ll be able to turn my health around; when I’ll be able to do whatever magic it takes to reverse the many years of effects of abuse from within and without.  And I may have found the answer!
 
 Blessings to my friend, Carol Dawn for her idea that “menopause means exactly that – the pause that renews.”   She suggested that the perimenopausal symptoms I’m encountering may finally force me to turn all the caring I’ve given others my whole life — inward.  I may finally be able to partake of my own wisdom and nurturing, to take my own advice, to practice what I teach.
 
It makes sense to me that as I enter the final earthly stage, however long it proves to be, it would be time to come full circle.  As a maiden, I was definitely about serving others; as a mother, I still do.  As a crone, I may well be serving others still, and that service may include modeling self-care, self-nurturing, self-centeredness.  I see self-centeredness as a huge plus.  If one is centered in Self, knowing exactly what is in one’s own best and highest good, and going for it, they actually stand in the best place to be of real love and service to others.  I picture it as a piling, holding up a dock.  If that massive pole is well-grounded, centered, set deep in its floor, then the waves that are emitted from interaction with the pole are gentle, concentric circles of influence.  It holds up its portion of the dock.  Should the pole fall over, the waves created could adversely affect those in its wake, and that portion of the dock would fall.
 
I’m certainly no expert in carrying out these ideas; I’m beginning to explore them for myself.  In doing so, I’ve picked up Christiane Northrup’s wonderful resource, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.  She assures us that as baby boomers, we are “five times more numerous than preceding generations, [and] the climacteric experience will never be the same when we are finished with it.  “Let me share just one gem from a paragraph on page 431 of Dr. Northrup’s book.  “The wisdom years, the years after menopause, when all of a woman’s life experience comes together, can be used for a purpose that suits her and at the same time serves others.  In Celtic cultures, the young maiden was seen as the flower; the mother, the fruit, the elder woman, the seed.  The seed is the part that contains the knowledge and potential of all the other parts within it.  The role of the postmenopausal woman is to go forth and reseed the community with her concentrated kernel of truth and wisdom.”
 
Reminds me of the “refresh” button on the web page.   Those of us old enough to be entering this transition remember, “the pause that refreshes”.  Who would have thought we’d come back to it with such a richness of promise?  Knowing in my heart and soul that we are indeed beings eternal, that in our divine roles, death is a glitch in the plan, I’ve always known deep down that there had to be a “refresh” button built-in somewhere, to return us to our inherent perfection.  I hope it works for me.

 

So far, it hasn’t worked.  I’ve lost count of the number of journals I’ve started and abandoned, trying to find the magic cure for my inability to care enough for myself to take care of myself.  WHAT IS THAT?!?

I’ve had a couple of amazing dreams lately that put the fear of something in me.  Fear is good for some things — sometimes — maybe?

In one dream, I was standing on a steeply pitched rooftop, toes pointed upwards, with sand beneath my feet.  Try as I might to stand still, I slipped backward in sand-grain sized increments.  I awoke with the unsettling awareness that standing still is not an option.  You’re moving forward, or you’re slipping backward.  Damn!

At that point, I promised myself I would begin taking baby steps forward.  I began…  I always do.

In a more recent, and more terrifying dream, I was watching the ocean from the high vantage point of my living room window, across the freeway and up the hill from the beach.  I was struck by the amazingly beautiful shade of deep teal blue of the water.  Suddenly, as happens in dreams, the water was coming in under my door!  Next thing, I was in my car in the driveway, and a huge wave swept us over a ledge!  I jumped out of the car and, floating beside it, I heaved the car back up over the ledge, into the driveway, and scurried back to the house, terrified that another wave would come before I could get back inside.

The dreams are becoming more desperate.  We all know that your ‘vehicle’ is your body in dreams.

I have more, much more, to say on this topic.  And, I think I will end this one here.

Alvita Soleil and I have discussed these topics in-depth, and together, we are hoping to come to some helpful conclusions.  We want to help ourselves, and we want to help others, to love ourselves enough.

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Year-end Tidings of Great Joy!

Wow…how long has it been?  I was just reading my last post, talking about my youngest son’s wedding preparations, and OMG!   It’s a good thing my  kids don’t know I have a blog, nor care to read them, because I  named my second born as my fourth, together with his new wife…oooops…. I know I used to call them ChrisBenDaveJoe all in one because I could never get the right name out first, but dang!

I also notice that the last date of writing here was in October, 2017!  A whole year has passed…wow.  Lots has happened –  guess it doesn’t matter to list all here…  Suffice it to say that I came home from the wedding and began my next quilt marathons, and just finished them, so here they are:

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TARDIS!  My 16-yr-old grandson is obviously a DR. WHO fan, and this Tardis is hurtling through the stars.  I purchased the panel and amazing background fabric online.   I was delighted to see that from beneath the quilt, with the light shining through, IT’S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!

SULR5926This labor of love is double batted, so it’s FLUFFY and cozy.  I was so happy to be able to purchase a Janome 6600 Memorycraft sewing machine, with it’s built-in walking foot, so quilting this was literally a joy.  Not a single tuck on the back.  I did quilt each block individually, and then sew them together with also quilted strips.  I built three variations of three different stars, and then doubled each, for a total of 18 blocks,, as well as the four corner stars.  It was a total joy to create.  In the 5 panels of the door, are Galifreyan phrases like, “Learning never exhausts the mind”, and “Love cures people”, “Life is a story – make it a good one” , “Nothing is permanent but change”, and my favorite, which may or may not be a Dr. Who quote, “I love you to the moon and back!”

I was happy to find a Galifreyan generator online so I could get the phrases, and I challenged my free motion quilting abilities to get them on the quilt.  Not perfect, but my very best effort.

Because I believe that anticipation is better then surprise, I shared the progress of the quilt with my grandson, and he was happy to get it after such a long time in progress.  I held my breath until it was delivered, as I am told that quilts are among the most commonly ‘lost’ items in the mail.

Here is the next endeavor, a story quilt for my younger grandson, Mikey.

Finished quilt

I also included a book with this quilt which you can see here:

If it isn’t obvious, I have become a paper piecing deva!  Having purchased each of these patterns at $5-7 apiece,  you can imagine how much time and money went into this joyful venture — all made more than worth it when I received a video of Mikey reading his book to me, and halfway through, getting the connection that the book and quilt were a pair.  It was really fun, and I highly recommend the investment for any granny who wants to leave a lasting impression of how much you care about those little darlings.

I’m now off to finish the “Christmas stretching” wall hangings I’m making for the other set of two grandkids….since I won’t them them done by Christmas, I’m prolonging the joy just another week or so.

I stitched a second ‘gypsy wagon’ to signify my four sons and their kids’ enjoyment of Roald Dahl’s “Danny Champion of the World”

Reed Christmas 2018

and a ‘catitudes’ trio (still in progress) for my only granddaughter (so far).

Lily Christmas 2018

Phew!  A good productive year!  WHAT will I do with myself now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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and more…..

I guess they limit the length of blogs here, because half of what I shared got dropped from the last post, (or maybe I was offlline while adding?  who knows…anyway…..)

so….

I left off with my son, Joe,  and Erin getting married last weekend, and last year, in preparation, I made them a quilt.  I was determined to deliver it to them BEFORE the destination wedding so I could get the proper ooohh’s and aaahhhh’s due in person.  So I delivered it to them at our (now) annual mother’s day/birthday gathering in Oregon.

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I changed the corner and side panels three times from the kit, before I was happy with them. Learned a wonderful new technique for applique using a paintbrush with spray starch and an iron to form the applique pieces around paper…..oooh la laaaaa!  so much work!

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430ABF94-FAA0-1A0B-06B75F7F820AC5D1The star was actually the easy part.  This is a Ginny Beyer kit, although I drastically changed the design of the corner and side panels.   LOVE her color combos, although honestly, I had my doubts when the kids chose this one.  It comes in two other color ways that I would have preferred.  Her corner designs are probably more beautiful, but they were beyond my applique abilities.  I also made 4 beautiful ‘magic’ pillowcases to go with this quilt, which I wish I had photos of….

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THEN came Hannah’s quilt.  She LOVES wolves, so when I found this panel on Society 6 , I ordered it right away.   It was a little SPENDY, but then who cares when we’re pleasing our loved ones?  It was too big, so I cut it down to 36″ wide, and added my new passion, paper pieced stars in the colors that mirrored the light of the moon…

We were amazed to find gray flannel snowflakes and white on white snowflakes for the star backgrounds.

 

I learned a LOT about paper piecing in this project, and my favorite method turned out to be freezer paper piecing.  I highly recommend it and encourage you to explore YouTube for great instructions…

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8C374D84-2385-48F5-9C15-B33E3C8042BAIn quilting, Hannah (8) helped me quite a bit and we outlined each of the squares of the stars, as well as the wolf, and got creative about leaving whiskers in long white threads on his muzzle.  Hannah’s mom, understandably, doesn’t want her daughter’s cute little face on Facebook yet, so we got a photo in showing Hannah’s approval of the quilt with no face showing… Bruno likes it too!6C3593C1-568D-4B16-A7F5-FCDD303D7E54

 

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Catch UP -Happy Sharings

IMG_0531As I said, in spite of my grueling schedule of the last year, I have been very busy!  I don’t have a finished view of this quilt because I accidently reset my phone and lost a lot of photos, but this is a quilt I made for Noa for Christmas last year.  I wish I had the finished photo.  The border was almost the best part, and to tie it, I tied tiny buttons in each corner of the each of the largest squares on a black backing.  It is really beautiful.  I complemented the quilt with two magic pillow cases, which were also fun and beautiful.

This pattern is a stained glass pattern that you cut into various slanted cuts and rotate through.  Kind of a pain, and not one I would try again, but I was happy with this one.

Next, I made a wall hanging for my little brother (one year younger than me) who builds bird houses.  If you can see, these are done in trapunto, even the tiny eggs in the nests are puffy!  Oh so fun!cropped birds

After that, I did one for my granddaughter, in trapunto with BEADS and glitter of a collection of alphabetized fairies.  I gave it to my granddaughter, but her mom didn’t really like it, so after sitting in her closet for a few years, I’ve brought it home to enjoy myself.

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So that brought me to a new quilt for Reed, my little guy who reads like a third grader at 5!  Each important figure in this quilt was outlined, with double batting all round, to make it especially cozy and to make the figures fatter.

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IMG_0466To enhance his cuddling experience, I took photos of each of the squares and wrote alliterative nonsense in a 7″x7″ book entitled, “A Book for Reed to Read”, which included LOTS of really big words that I hope he still can’t quite read.  (He just turned 6).  I published the book on BLURB, and because the photos were not authorized, I am unable to show the book in public…but there are a few copies around….  I also duplicated the quilt and the book for another of my hanai grandsons, Reagan.

Reed frontis piece

Reed front page

Next up was Hannah’s quilt.  She LOVES wolves, so I made her a quilt with wolves and paper pieced (my new passion) stars…

Oh wait!  I almost forgot!  My youngest son got married, and they ordered up a quilt that caused me to up my game….

(continued next blog)

 

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Time Flies! And So Do I…

IMG_0107SO MUCH has happened since I last had a chance to write here.  By the fact that I’m writing again, you can surmise that I am no longer managing Hotel Honoka’a. The transition from there to here was one of such grace that I marvel still.

For the whole time I was there, in spite of the fact that it was hot and humid and hard, I loved it.  It was uncanny.  There was nothing to love.  Believe me.  But, as noted in my last post, I really did love it.

My friends were baffled, as was I, frankly, as to why the most capable and creative person I know (okay, mostly me, but who can choose among my precious array of friends) was happy to be a glorified motel maid with a tyranical employer.

Everytime I would begin to wonder, or chaffe under the tyrany, my little inner voice would say, “not yet, small bear, not yet.”  And I would shrug and carry on.

During my very long days (from 7 am to usually 9 pm) I continued to be creative in my office presence — I’ll show the fruits of my labors in a minute –.  When I wasn’t doing my long list of duties, I kept my fingers busy, with week-long spurts of heavy lifting in the creative department, filled with 3-week periods of small stuff in the slow times.  (My schedule was 21 days on, and 7 days off).

Then one day, nine months later, the day came when the tyrany was too much.  I very calmly said, “It’s obvious to me that nothing I can do will ever please you, and I think it’s time to call it quits.”  And she agreed.  That easy.  That was on a Wednesday.

There was never a moment of panic – even though I had burned all my bridges, and had no idea where I would go, or what I would do for a living, or how I would live according my 2012 Martin Luther King Day edict of not paying rent and not having a 9-5 job again.  (This job wasn’t 9-5 — it wasn’t a job.  It was indentured serviture!)

Anyway, I had my week off coming, and my two  weeks vacation, and two weeks of severance time.  I had five weeks to find a place and move.  Very gracious indeed of the hotel owner.

Every time a thought would come into my head, “I better apply for that job” or, “I need to fill out the application for senior housing” or whatever, the immediate response inside would be, “No need.  Just take your time off and relax.”  So I did.

Then on Monday, the following week, I felt inspired to check Craig’s List, (though several times before I had shrugged the thought off), and there, in the first paragraph was a just-placed ad for a large lovely room in exchange for help with getting kids to school.  I responded,, and within five minutes, the mom called me back, and the next day, I moved into the sweetest room with the sweetest family, and two half-grown children who need a grandma.  I still had four weeks to pack and move my stuff, and I’ve never looked back.  All within six days of quitting my other job.

NOW, I live with a family including the cutest 8-yr-old girl child who loves my company, and a 13-year-old young man (gone for the summer now) who puts up with me on the drive to school.  I’m free again to do whatever I need or want to do.  With all my needs provided.  It’s a miracle!  And so joyfully received.

I truly live in grace.  I am so grateful!

 

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Happy, Healing and a New Home in Honoka’a!

So very, very much has happened since I last wrote here.  Been so busy I haven’t had a chance to catch up…so here goes.

I now live in HONOKA’A, as the resident manager of the Hotel Honoka’a.  Change came swiftly and decidedly on June 7 when I first came to work.  Since then, I have gained more than TWENTY pounds of LIGHT.  I am no longer as sedentary, but rather walk up and down three flights of stairs, up and down long, long hallways, carrying laundry, hanging laundry, making beds, scrubbing showers, vacuuming with hard-to-push machines, and sweating profusely the whole time.

This summer has been a brutal one for heat, humidity and mosquitos.  What I don’t sweat, I lose to blood-sucking vampires.  I’m loving every minute of it.  Honestly.  At the end of a long, hard day, I feel so capable and successful.  I’m stronger than I’ve felt in many years, and even my angel wings are beginning to shrink as I push those vacuums, hang those sheets, and carry those laundry baskets up three flights of stairs.

I’m learning to enjoy sweating, picturing the pounds literally melting away.  As for mosquitos, I’m grateful they are not spiders, fleas, bedbugs, or worse — centipedes!  ANY of those bites would be worse and last longer than a few mozzies.  I’m sucking it up and wearing OFF!  because I vibrate at the speed of love, so poison can’t touch me, and if I die, I go to Heaven.  NO, we do not have bedbugs, fleas or even spiders to speak of here.  That’s why I’m so grateful.  Mozzies seem tame in comparison to the available wildlife on the island.

I have encountered several centipedes, but luckily, all within enough time to avoid or overcome them before they got me.  I tucked BOUNCE sheets into the crevices between my mattress and box springs, to assure that all varmints stay out of my bed.  They are lined from one end to the other of my bed.  They have nothing special to do with the hotel.  Centipedes are just a fact of life in Hawaii.  As are a few other choice specimens that go along with a tropical environment.  Tropical rain forest this summer.

Of course, I love meeting, greeting, and serving our guests.  Today we had a couple from Israel.  So many interesting folks come through, and for the most part, they love staying at our hotel, though it does not meet the standards of beach-front resort property.  It’s more old Hawaiian, with an emphasis on old, and clean — very, very clean.

I’m proud to say we hang our sheets to air dry, and I can’t explain the satisfaction I get from matching old, old, soft, soft sheets and towels to spruce up a room.  I have 31 beds in 20 rooms to keep fresh and sharp. I’m looking forward to replacing a few bed pillow covers with bright fabrics to spruce things up a bit, and maybe covering a lampshade here or there.

51pq2aKO1JL._SX329_BO1,204,203,200_The best news of all is that I am going through a period of deep, deep healing.  I found a book through my women’s book circle entitled “The Healing Code” by Alex Loyd.  It is phenomenal, and I have never felt so much hope and joy as I do with this process.  I’ve been practicing the Codes faithfully two or three times/day since around the end of August.

It was about that time I noticed that some of my deepest wounds are being prodded with sharp sticks.  My new boss has very sharp sticks, and she is one of the best instigators of my healing process.  Immediately came up my huge “fear of commitment” right after I had burned some pretty big bridges to commit to this new position.  Having waited  for over a year, my slot in Senior Housing came up, and I passed it up to move here.  I also got booted from my last house management job, which I had hoped to finess to keep in my back pocket.  Both were gone, and I had just moved my last load of household goods into my cute little apartment, when she hit me with “you’ve got one month to prove you can do better, or you’re out of here!”  OMYGOD….I felt like my guts were yanked to the floor, and I lost all heart for unpacking boxes.  Still haven’t unpacked another item.

I don’t know if she will really kick me to the curb, and it doesn’t really matter, because I do have a deep, abiding faith that all is in divine right timing, and perfect synchronicity, and if my and her best and highest good is met by my being here, I will be.  If not, it will be met in another way.  That really does feel good, because I truly feel that on a bone-deep level.

What IS joyful is to watch that and the several other ways that I have been given evidence of my healing of deep, forgotten memories.

Since I got that scary edict, I have found myself feeling like I’m “skating on thin ice”… though I know in my heart of hearts that I do a fantastic job here, and I have nothing to worry about in that regard.  That awareness though, brought to memory my often-recurring dream as a first grade child, of every step I took, falling deeply into the earth, up to my knees.  Each step was labored.  I think perhaps you could say, I didn’t feel much support in my earthly sojourn.  Makes me smile to re-cognize that dream, and know that this situation was custom-designed for my (c)learning of that.

Another thing I’ve noticed was that I have bonked my head, really hard, on several metal fire extinguisher boxes, or counter tops, or sink edges, or whatever…and remember the many traumas to my head that my dad gave me with head butts and various other weapons he often wielded against us.  Once he grabbed me up by my long, long hair and shaved me bald!  Getting hit in the head is a huge trigger for me.

Not to mention, I found myself exhausted and frustrated with a friend for whom I was working on her website late one evening, and in rage, I slammed shut my computer and beat myself over the head with my fists.  Talk about embarassing!  But then I remembered that 50 years ago, as a teenager, and even a small child, I used to beat myself up regularly; I’d pound myself with hair brushes over the head, hangers on my thighs, pull out hunks of hair — all in an attempt to contain the rage so it wouldn’t hurt anyone else.  And now it’s surfacing for clearing!  JOYFUL news….

The premise of The Healing Codes is simple.  ALL illness and dis(ease) is cured (or not) by the immune system.  The thing that stops the immune system from doing its miraculous work is stress.  The thing that causes stress is cellular memories, unhealthy thought patterns and beliefs, and forgotten memories that create stress and friction in the healing process, and disallow optimum health.

By prayer, asking God to find and heal those memories, releasing them from the cells, and using a simple technique of directed energy (through the fingertips) coupled with positive feeling energy on specific body parts connected to the master glands found near the third eye, adams’s apple, lower jaw and temples, burns off the ‘tar and feathers’ that cover our divine light, and allow that light to shine again as it is meant to shine — brightly!

The book recommends a period of six minutes, three times a day.  I have found myself enjoying the process so much that i spend 30 or 40 minutes in the early morning,  a few minutes mid-day if possible, and another abbreviated session at night.  I’m usually too sleepy to do much at night, so I asked my divine healing team of guides and guardians (my MAP team) to accompany me in the evening healing, and stay with me throughout the night.  In the morning, I was given this picture of them having spent the night gathering ‘dead wood’ and building me a bonfire.  Together, in my blissful session of the early morning, we burn the fire and return the forgotten memories to the light.  I’ve noticed that I dream quite actively during the night, and awaken to the session with real joy.

The book recommends that you beam positive feeling and good memories at the  spots for that period, but I don’t have that many stored up that I feel comfortable to call upon.  So many of my memories are gunked up with what was going on around them.  SO, I’ve been using my AlphaMations, and having new words added daily.  When I created the Alphamations years ago, it was to rescue myself from the runaway train of thoughts that I didn’t want to be thinking.  It was the turning point in my life, and they literally brought me to where I am today.

Knowing as I do that you cannot access a word in your vocabulary that you don’t have access to in your Being, I find great, great joy in BEING Julia Fair child of God, filled with appreciation, awareness, awe, abundance, bravery, beauty, bliss (new word lately) balance, benevolence, clarity, calm, compassion, cool & collected, courage, creativity, charm, charisma, contentment, capability, commitment, confidence, desire, destiny, duty, determination, dedication, dependability, divinity, energy, efficiency, effectiveness, effulgence, effervescence, experience, expertise, faith, fun, family, friends, fortune, future, freedom, grace, graciousness, gratitude, gentleness, generosity, giving (and receiving) in balance, guidance, grit, gumption, guts and glory, happiness, health, healing, hope, home, humility, honor, honesty, intuition, inspiration, integrity, integration, intelligence, indispensability, individuality, independence, joy, jubilation, juxtaposition, kindness, knowing, light, laughter, love, longing, learning, liberty, luminescence, mothering (myself), mentoring (giving and receiving) magnanimosity, maturity, mastery, money, money, money, money, (shows up nearly every day) nurturing, nutrition, nobility, options, opportunity, optimism, peace, praise, prayer, passion, purpose, possibilities, presence, perfection, quick study, quiet resolve, questing spirit, response-ability, rejuvenation, re-creation, reciprocity, regeneration, real-eyes-ation, relaxation, self love, self control, self motivation, self confidence, self actualization, self care, self-centered-ness, sensitivity, serenity, serendipity, sweetness, saavy, trust, truth, tenacity, tenderness, touch, total commitment, total faith, understanding, vision, valor, vim, vigor, vitality, vibrance, wit, wisdom, worth, wonder, and wholeness…

By the time I’ve beamed that at each of my four points of healing, I am blissed out.  I just lay there loving myself while I pray-dream for a while.  And still I’m up by 6…what a way to start the day.

I’ve been assured (by my new form of muscle testing) that I am in the process of erasing memories connected to stiff painful joints (walking in pain) arthritis stiffness in my left ring finger (nearly gone now) healing of my neck, numbness in my big toe, and associated injuries from my herniated disk (which came soon after I began here, but is now hardly noticeable) and my inability to see clearly (cataracts!).  Not to mention dropping pounds of excess baggage daily.

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