So very, very much has happened since I last wrote here. Been so busy I haven’t had a chance to catch up…so here goes.
I now live in HONOKA’A, as the resident manager of the Hotel Honoka’a. Change came swiftly and decidedly on June 7 when I first came to work. Since then, I have gained more than TWENTY pounds of LIGHT. I am no longer as sedentary, but rather walk up and down three flights of stairs, up and down long, long hallways, carrying laundry, hanging laundry, making beds, scrubbing showers, vacuuming with hard-to-push machines, and sweating profusely the whole time.
This summer has been a brutal one for heat, humidity and mosquitos. What I don’t sweat, I lose to blood-sucking vampires. I’m loving every minute of it. Honestly. At the end of a long, hard day, I feel so capable and successful. I’m stronger than I’ve felt in many years, and even my angel wings are beginning to shrink as I push those vacuums, hang those sheets, and carry those laundry baskets up three flights of stairs.
I’m learning to enjoy sweating, picturing the pounds literally melting away. As for mosquitos, I’m grateful they are not spiders, fleas, bedbugs, or worse — centipedes! ANY of those bites would be worse and last longer than a few mozzies. I’m sucking it up and wearing OFF! because I vibrate at the speed of love, so poison can’t touch me, and if I die, I go to Heaven. NO, we do not have bedbugs, fleas or even spiders to speak of here. That’s why I’m so grateful. Mozzies seem tame in comparison to the available wildlife on the island.
I have encountered several centipedes, but luckily, all within enough time to avoid or overcome them before they got me. I tucked BOUNCE sheets into the crevices between my mattress and box springs, to assure that all varmints stay out of my bed. They are lined from one end to the other of my bed. They have nothing special to do with the hotel. Centipedes are just a fact of life in Hawaii. As are a few other choice specimens that go along with a tropical environment. Tropical rain forest this summer.
Of course, I love meeting, greeting, and serving our guests. Today we had a couple from Israel. So many interesting folks come through, and for the most part, they love staying at our hotel, though it does not meet the standards of beach-front resort property. It’s more old Hawaiian, with an emphasis on old, and clean — very, very clean.
I’m proud to say we hang our sheets to air dry, and I can’t explain the satisfaction I get from matching old, old, soft, soft sheets and towels to spruce up a room. I have 31 beds in 20 rooms to keep fresh and sharp. I’m looking forward to replacing a few bed pillow covers with bright fabrics to spruce things up a bit, and maybe covering a lampshade here or there.
The best news of all is that I am going through a period of deep, deep healing. I found a book through my women’s book circle entitled “The Healing Code” by Alex Loyd. It is phenomenal, and I have never felt so much hope and joy as I do with this process. I’ve been practicing the Codes faithfully two or three times/day since around the end of August.
It was about that time I noticed that some of my deepest wounds are being prodded with sharp sticks. My new boss has very sharp sticks, and she is one of the best instigators of my healing process. Immediately came up my huge “fear of commitment” right after I had burned some pretty big bridges to commit to this new position. Having waited for over a year, my slot in Senior Housing came up, and I passed it up to move here. I also got booted from my last house management job, which I had hoped to finess to keep in my back pocket. Both were gone, and I had just moved my last load of household goods into my cute little apartment, when she hit me with “you’ve got one month to prove you can do better, or you’re out of here!” OMYGOD….I felt like my guts were yanked to the floor, and I lost all heart for unpacking boxes. Still haven’t unpacked another item.
I don’t know if she will really kick me to the curb, and it doesn’t really matter, because I do have a deep, abiding faith that all is in divine right timing, and perfect synchronicity, and if my and her best and highest good is met by my being here, I will be. If not, it will be met in another way. That really does feel good, because I truly feel that on a bone-deep level.
What IS joyful is to watch that and the several other ways that I have been given evidence of my healing of deep, forgotten memories.
Since I got that scary edict, I have found myself feeling like I’m “skating on thin ice”… though I know in my heart of hearts that I do a fantastic job here, and I have nothing to worry about in that regard. That awareness though, brought to memory my often-recurring dream as a first grade child, of every step I took, falling deeply into the earth, up to my knees. Each step was labored. I think perhaps you could say, I didn’t feel much support in my earthly sojourn. Makes me smile to re-cognize that dream, and know that this situation was custom-designed for my (c)learning of that.
Another thing I’ve noticed was that I have bonked my head, really hard, on several metal fire extinguisher boxes, or counter tops, or sink edges, or whatever…and remember the many traumas to my head that my dad gave me with head butts and various other weapons he often wielded against us. Once he grabbed me up by my long, long hair and shaved me bald! Getting hit in the head is a huge trigger for me.
Not to mention, I found myself exhausted and frustrated with a friend for whom I was working on her website late one evening, and in rage, I slammed shut my computer and beat myself over the head with my fists. Talk about embarassing! But then I remembered that 50 years ago, as a teenager, and even a small child, I used to beat myself up regularly; I’d pound myself with hair brushes over the head, hangers on my thighs, pull out hunks of hair — all in an attempt to contain the rage so it wouldn’t hurt anyone else. And now it’s surfacing for clearing! JOYFUL news….
The premise of The Healing Codes is simple. ALL illness and dis(ease) is cured (or not) by the immune system. The thing that stops the immune system from doing its miraculous work is stress. The thing that causes stress is cellular memories, unhealthy thought patterns and beliefs, and forgotten memories that create stress and friction in the healing process, and disallow optimum health.
By prayer, asking God to find and heal those memories, releasing them from the cells, and using a simple technique of directed energy (through the fingertips) coupled with positive feeling energy on specific body parts connected to the master glands found near the third eye, adams’s apple, lower jaw and temples, burns off the ‘tar and feathers’ that cover our divine light, and allow that light to shine again as it is meant to shine — brightly!
The book recommends a period of six minutes, three times a day. I have found myself enjoying the process so much that i spend 30 or 40 minutes in the early morning, a few minutes mid-day if possible, and another abbreviated session at night. I’m usually too sleepy to do much at night, so I asked my divine healing team of guides and guardians (my MAP team) to accompany me in the evening healing, and stay with me throughout the night. In the morning, I was given this picture of them having spent the night gathering ‘dead wood’ and building me a bonfire. Together, in my blissful session of the early morning, we burn the fire and return the forgotten memories to the light. I’ve noticed that I dream quite actively during the night, and awaken to the session with real joy.
The book recommends that you beam positive feeling and good memories at the spots for that period, but I don’t have that many stored up that I feel comfortable to call upon. So many of my memories are gunked up with what was going on around them. SO, I’ve been using my AlphaMations, and having new words added daily. When I created the Alphamations years ago, it was to rescue myself from the runaway train of thoughts that I didn’t want to be thinking. It was the turning point in my life, and they literally brought me to where I am today.
Knowing as I do that you cannot access a word in your vocabulary that you don’t have access to in your Being, I find great, great joy in BEING Julia Fair child of God, filled with appreciation, awareness, awe, abundance, bravery, beauty, bliss (new word lately) balance, benevolence, clarity, calm, compassion, cool & collected, courage, creativity, charm, charisma, contentment, capability, commitment, confidence, desire, destiny, duty, determination, dedication, dependability, divinity, energy, efficiency, effectiveness, effulgence, effervescence, experience, expertise, faith, fun, family, friends, fortune, future, freedom, grace, graciousness, gratitude, gentleness, generosity, giving (and receiving) in balance, guidance, grit, gumption, guts and glory, happiness, health, healing, hope, home, humility, honor, honesty, intuition, inspiration, integrity, integration, intelligence, indispensability, individuality, independence, joy, jubilation, juxtaposition, kindness, knowing, light, laughter, love, longing, learning, liberty, luminescence, mothering (myself), mentoring (giving and receiving) magnanimosity, maturity, mastery, money, money, money, money, (shows up nearly every day) nurturing, nutrition, nobility, options, opportunity, optimism, peace, praise, prayer, passion, purpose, possibilities, presence, perfection, quick study, quiet resolve, questing spirit, response-ability, rejuvenation, re-creation, reciprocity, regeneration, real-eyes-ation, relaxation, self love, self control, self motivation, self confidence, self actualization, self care, self-centered-ness, sensitivity, serenity, serendipity, sweetness, saavy, trust, truth, tenacity, tenderness, touch, total commitment, total faith, understanding, vision, valor, vim, vigor, vitality, vibrance, wit, wisdom, worth, wonder, and wholeness…
By the time I’ve beamed that at each of my four points of healing, I am blissed out. I just lay there loving myself while I pray-dream for a while. And still I’m up by 6…what a way to start the day.
I’ve been assured (by my new form of muscle testing) that I am in the process of erasing memories connected to stiff painful joints (walking in pain) arthritis stiffness in my left ring finger (nearly gone now) healing of my neck, numbness in my big toe, and associated injuries from my herniated disk (which came soon after I began here, but is now hardly noticeable) and my inability to see clearly (cataracts!). Not to mention dropping pounds of excess baggage daily.