I’ve been working my way into new ways of living, always doing my best, always learning, and always hopeful that I can do it this time. Actually, I’ve mostly resisted and avoided making any commitments to change my body size and shape, for deadly fear of failure – again.
This time, I always say, it will be different. AND, THIS TIME, it feels that way. Different. Having worked my way into a few habits that sustain me better, I was finally able to commit to a real “live-it” program that I hope to sustain for the rest of my days in this body. I’m noticing, that at 62, 63 soon, 73 sooner than I can imagine, I won’t have the energy to push this mush around if I don’t let go of some of it.
A fellow quilter in my quilting group did this last year, and has released 80 pounds in a year. She looks fabulous! She feels fabulous! She wears a size “Small” in Aloha Wear. That stuff runs small, so that’s amazing! She’s going to a wedding for one of her sons soon, and will show up in her new image, with them unaware of what she has done this year. Won’t THAT be fun?
Slow by slow, I have been working my way into new habits.
One that has helped IMMENSELY is a daily dose (night and morning) of a heaping teaspoon each of diatomaceous earth and tumeric in a large glass of water, chugged till it’s gone. I have now taken to adding a heaping teaspoon of Vitamin C with Cal/Mag and from time to time, a teaspoon of Himalayan salt sole as well. DE is 95% silica, which works wonders for joints and muscle pain, as well as eliminating candida and any other unwanted guests from the gastronomy section of the temple. The Hawaiians extol the virtues of “olena”, and take it daily. I have come to follow suit. I have already used up my first canister of DE, and am going to buy another today.
I am blessed to have a weekly visit with my beloved Alvita Soleil, Doctor of Oriental Medicine, and she keeps me balanced with not only acupuncture, but the vitamins and minerals, or whatever supplements she determines I need. Bless her! She’s the one who got me on the Vitamin D, and Vitamin C, Cal/Mag which I do believe helps as well.
And finally, with these practices well established, I set down my goals on a spreadsheet. I used my tried and trusted formula for projecting my goal into this time next year, when I am determined to be shape-shifted to 135 pounds! I keep the spreadsheet on the top corner of my computer, where I spend most of my time, and every time I eat, I post it on the sheet. I determined to start at 1800 calories, and so far, I have found that 1800 calories of healthy food is hard to consume in one day. Now, add a slice of banana bread from Starbucks, and all bets are off, but as long as I am mindful, counting whatever I eat, nothing is off limits.
I did learn one thing new in this round of projections. In the past, I have always multiplied the current weight by 15 to determine how many calories it takes to maintain that unwanted figure. I learned that if you are sedentary, the number should be 13 and if more than moderately active, 18. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me expound on the formula. It the ONE thing I have found that works for me, because I can put down in black and white, and have a scientific assurance that what I’m doing is working, and will work, even though I may hit plateaus, etc.
Multiply current weight by (13, 15, or 18) to find the number of calories it has taken to maintain that size.
Subtract the number of calories you are willing to eat instead from that number. This will give you the number of calories you are releasing in a day. (1800 is a good start, in imho). Later, when I get closer to goal weight, I can go down to 1500 and later, in the very end, to 1200 for a few weeks, to finish up the goal. Eventually, I will multiply my goal weight by my activity number to determine the number of calories needed to eat to maintain my goal. In my case, 135 x 13 = 1755! I can do that! I’m not kidding myself that I will ever be more active, but you never know; my friend who released 80 pounds says she just FEELS like being more active, and now she is. So, who knows? 135 x 15 =2025! That leaves room for an occasional slice of banana bread from Starbucks.
Multiply that number by 7 (for a week’s worth)
and divide that number by 3500 (the number of calories in one pound) to determine the number of pounds you can project to lose in a week. A good healthy range is 2 pounds per week.
I also took every imaginable measurement and recorded them all down in a column, which I also update every Wednesday. I’m already seeing progress.
Having the projected chart with dates from now to one year from now is very helpful to me. I can watch the progress. AND, having written down everything I eat, I have proof in black and white that I’ve done my part – my body can do the rest. If I skip a day, I simply pick up again – making a note as to why I skipped writing down my food. Even if I totally cheat, everyday is a new day, and I can always choose again.
None of this takes into account any exercise, although once I feel more energetic, I will indeed include that in the plan. Any benefits of that will be extra! One thing I am excited about, and which my quilting friend discovered, is a gym at the hospital, which allows anyone to come and use for a very small monthly fee. It’s clean and there’s someone there to show you how to use the machines, and jocks don’t seem know about it; it’s mostly old ladies like me, so it feels like a perfect fit for me to use when I’m ready.
To my knowledge, few people actually read my blogs, so I feel safe writing this here, but another thing I have done is not to talk about this too much. Especially to people who want to tell me what to do, or give me their opinions as to how I should do it different, and then want to take credit or say “I told you so” when I have success. (In the past) that derails me every time, so I know better now than to allow it. AND, I’m not letting it derail me, either.
As I said, I’ve been working up to this for quite a while, and one thing that helped me in the journey was reading this book
Which brings me to perhaps the most important aspect of my new program. I am using all my tools to help me. If anyone knows about this stuff, and has the tools to make it happen, that would be me. I am not giving myself any more excuses for not using what I know. YEARS ago, Carol Dawn gave me this book. God knows there are enough of them on the market, but this is one that works for me. Written by a UC Santa Barbara professor, as a class manual, it’s a 21-day program to re-program your mind around size and shape. Together with right/hand left/hand journaling and my favorite, most effective I’ve ever encountered self-help roto-rooter, Tapas Accupressure Technique, I am feeling confident that I can really do this this time.
As I said, I’ve been working up to this for quite a while, and one thing that helped me in the continuing journey was reading this book on my Kindle. It’s the true story (the author’s, written as fiction about the teenage girl in the story) of a girl who lost weight by having surgery. More and more people, even many teenagers, are taking this drastic and dangerous path, and I remember the whole time I was reading it, I was struck by how ultimately what she did was eat less and exercise, but only after she had a life-threatening reason to do so (as though being overweight isn’t life-threatening enough). I am determined that I can do this without any drastic means, and that with the tools I have, my excuses are all drying up and blowing away. In fact, the other day, as Alvita worked on me in a cranio-sacral type move, with her hands cupping my head, I had a lovely vision of her holding big old rocks in her hand, and under her hand, they turned into sand, and blew away!
Interestingly, as I do the work, I find that other blocks I have battled, like cleaning my room, and paying my bills, and keeping my “piling systems” in check are all connected to this chronic inability to take better care of myself and make more healthy choices. They are all being swept away as I continue to journal and do TAT.
I may or may not keep you posted, as I don’t want this to be another pressure, but I’m confident that as I make this drastic change in my life, it will show up again. Finally, finally, finally, I can hope to be able to move more freely through my world, and not be carrying around the past, glommed onto my body parts like flounders to a rock. Gently, lovingly, with great gratitude, I am releasing those parts of me who have so long protected and insulated and shielded me from the world I perceived, back to the world I now enjoy. Life is grand! 9 is the number of completion. 63=9 and 135=9. It’s time!